Ever since my Mom got sick, actually before that, probably when I was in college I figured something out. I realized that my Mom always had good intentions when raising me.
I realized that the things she did was because she loved me, and was trying to protect me.
I don't think this is something you fully realize about your parent(s) until you become an adult.
I don't have kids of my own, and maybe for some it takes until they have their own kids to realize why parents do what they do; but for me I think it took some time being away from my Mom, and going through my own experiences to realize where she was coming from all of those years.
It's funny when you're growing up you question everything your parents do. You question their authority, their rules, their beliefs, their "coolness", who they choose to date or marry (if that applies, for me it did), their choice of job, their opinions, their past, their future, their reasons for virtually everything I guess! And then you grow up and have that AHA! moment and realize, that they were just doing the best they could to raise the best kid they knew!
I can say now, that I fully appreciate all that she ever did for me, the rules and discipline she put in place, the expectations she had of me, the challenges she forced me to face, heck even the arguments and disagreements we had I now know had a reason behind.
My Mom and I went through some pretty rocky times in the past, and now as I think back, I have regrets for my actions and words. I wish I could go back and erase my bad behaviors, my hurtful words, the time I spent angry at her (even tho back then I could justify my anger), the blame I put on her and the questioning of her actions towards me. I do live with regret now, I am embarrassed for my past relationship with her, and I've spent a great deal of time feeling guilty for the hard times I know I put her through.
Sure, parents aren't perfect, but for the most part, they are doing their best,
and doing their best for us.
Sometimes I wonder "man why and how did she put up with me!
i wouldn't have put up with me back then!"
At some point we all have to make a choice on how we decide to treat our parents. For me I wish I hadn't waited so long to figure out the right way to treat my Mom, but I can't go back, I can only make it right here and now.
