Wednesday, September 5, 2012

56 days



Today I finally went to see my therapist.  56 days after my Mom passed away, I went to see my therapist.  I'm just going to write, and this may be short, I don't know how much I can do...

56 days since Mom passed away.  I can't go into details, I can still barely say it out loud, but my therapist encouraged me to do some things that make me feel good.  I've been avoiding blogging for a few reasons. One, I was discouraged.  I don't know how to make my page look good, how to make it fun, how to make it look like I want...I'm just not computer savy..and really who is reading this? Anyone? Are you out there??  Two, I don't know what to say. I don't want to cry.  I don't want to post pictures, I don't.. can't be happy. I don't want to remember, or go back, but yet I can't go forward..  

Who knows if this will help. If it will help me, help you?  I don't know.  But I'm just going to give it a go...I'm watching football with my husband, it's one of our favorite things to do together, but I can't sit still.  All I think about is my Mom. She is every other thought I have, she was someone I wasn't supposed to grieve for until I was older.  

My therapist today looked at me with such sorrow in her eyes. I asked her if I was always going to be that girl now that people look at and think "wow, she's that girl that lost a parent, that had something tragic happen to her."  She said no, but I don't believe her.  I feel like I lost my spark.  I've just been faking it really since July 11...

The crash is happening.  For 56 days I have held it together, but I fear I am starting to lose it.  

I know I just need time...I know, I know, I know, I know...

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Growing Up



Ever since my Mom got sick, actually before that, probably when I was in college I figured something out. I realized that my Mom always had good intentions when raising me. 
I realized that the things she did was because she loved me, and was trying to protect me. 

I don't think this is something you fully realize about your parent(s) until you become an adult.  
I don't have kids of my own, and maybe for some it takes until they have their own kids to realize why parents do what they do; but for me I think it took some time being away from my Mom, and going through my own experiences to realize where she was coming from all of those years.

It's funny when you're growing up you question everything your parents do. You question their authority, their rules, their beliefs, their "coolness", who they choose to date or marry (if that applies, for me it did), their choice of job, their opinions, their past, their future, their reasons for virtually everything I guess! And then you grow up and have that AHA! moment and realize, that they were just doing the best they could to raise the best kid they knew! 

I can say now, that I fully appreciate all that she ever did for me, the rules and discipline she put in place, the expectations she had of me, the challenges she forced me to face, heck even the arguments and disagreements we had I now know had a reason behind.

My Mom and I went through some pretty rocky times in the past, and now as I think back, I have regrets for my actions and words.  I wish I could go back and erase my bad behaviors, my hurtful words, the time I spent angry at her (even tho back then I could justify my anger), the blame I put on her and the questioning of her actions towards me.  I do live with regret now, I am embarrassed for my past relationship with her, and I've spent a great deal of time feeling guilty for the hard times I know I put her through.  

Sure, parents aren't perfect, but for the most part, they are doing their best, 
and doing their best for us. 
 Sometimes I wonder "man why and how did she put up with me! 
i wouldn't have put up with me back then!"
At some point we all have to make a choice on how we decide to treat our parents.  For me I wish I hadn't waited so long to figure out the right way to treat my Mom, but I can't go back, I can only make it right here and now.  



Thursday, May 24, 2012

Peace of Mind...

For the bracelet how to click HERE!

Have you ever finally sat down after going going and going for like weeks...and said to yourself...
"oh my gosh, what just happened!?"
It finally hit me this week. Maybe even last week, but it came out this week. 
Every weekend this month has been booked.  Now, let me say, every single weekend I've had something to do, but that something to do has been fabulous and fun things that I've wanted to do!
But between working and the weekends, I haven't had a chance to breath!

I went from my "busy" being all about Mom, to my "busy" being all about well...everything else!
That's when it hit me.  I'm going out of town this weekend, this month's finale, and I realized 
I haven't seen Mom since the beginning of the month, and now I'll be gone for another weekend!

And oh how the guilt set in.  And I find myself in tears at work, falling apart.
Everyone I talk to, including my Mom tells me the same thing.
"Mom is doing great, she is going to be fine!"
"It's a good thing you haven't seen her, that means she's doing well right?"
"You've put your life on hold for over a year, its okay, you deserve to have a get away!"

and the list goes on....

So why, WHY do I put myself through this?
What am I so scared of?
Why do I always so feel bad, or guilty?

When it comes to my Mom, I don't ever want her to feel lonely, or sad, or bored, or afraid, or alone.
I feel like I'm the one that has to make sure all of those things don't happen. 
I have to learn, am learning that it's not my job to take care of her in this way.
She even tells me herself that I don't have to worry, but I just do. I can't seem to help it.
So for the past few days I have spent time working through the guilt.
I've had to mentally stop myself and tell myself (and believe it!) that I am not doing anything wrong.

I'm hoping that someday, I can find the freedom to not worry so much, and to find a healthy way to care for my loved ones.....and care for myself. 

I know that I will forever worry about her disease, but I can not make her life my own.  I have to live my life in the best way possible. And that means letting go a bit. It doesn't make me a bad person...or a bad daughter, or wife, or sister, or friend....And that is what I have to remember.

Happy Day To You!
Wishing you peace of mind and heart!



Tuesday, May 22, 2012

$400 Closer To The Goal!


TEAM JESSIE GOOD CELLS has raised $400 so far!  

With your help we can reach our team goal of $1,000!  



Check out our Team Page to make a donation, join Team JGC, or honor someone you know or love with their own Luminaria!  

We are relaying to spread the word, to walk with survivors, and fighters, and taking a stand against Cancer!  We can't do it alone!  Join us in the fight!  

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Announcements!

Announcements!  Announcements!

Many things are happening in the land of Soaring With Faith and I wanted to share them all with you! 

First things first!



Jessie Good Cells has been Mom's "team" nickname since practically diagnosis day!  We thought it was perfectly fitting for her!  So, Team Jessie Good Cells will be Relaying on June 29th, 2012!

Relay for Life is an over-night relay style event where each team camps out around a track while members of each team taking turns lapping the track! This goes on for the whole duration of the event!

There will be a Survivors Lap.  Mom will be joining this inspiring journey around the track with others who have fought the battle, or who may even be still fighting!
After dark, a Luminaria Ceremony is held to "honor people who have been touched by Cancer and to remember loved ones lost to the disease." Candles are lit inside bags filled with sand, with each bag bearing the name of the person touched by Cancer.  A silent candlelit lap around the track will be made to honor each individual.

Lastly, there will be a Fight Back Ceremony.
At this time, we will make a personal commitment to take save lives by taking up the fight against Cancer.

So, now the big question! How can YOU take part of this magical event! 

CLICK HERE!!! to view Team Jessie Good Cells' Event Page!

On our team page, you can do 1 of 3 things.

Come and relay with us!
 Raise $ for the cause and fight the fight right along w/us!
Every dollar counts!  Every single cent we raise goes directly to the American Cancer Society!
Make a donation to honor a loved one or someone you know that has been affected by Cancer.
Each luminaria represents the fight won or lost because of this disease, and I will be there to walk for them, to stand up for them and to honor them.

This is my first time ever taking part (also as Team Captain nonetheless...no pressure right!) in Relay for Life.  I'm not sure what to expect, I'm not sure the best way to go about raising money or spreading the word (I'm not super social media savy to be honest with you), but I do know that I'm going to give it my all!  If my Mom can fight through every single medical challenge that was put in front of her, I know I can overcome my shyness, and step out of my comfort zone and do this!!  I don't have a lot of money to donate myself, but I can donate my time, I can donate my energy, and I can donate the strength needed to put in the many many laps around the track!

So please, if you can, make a donation, join our team, or honor a loved one with a luminaria!
We can do this together!  I know it!



Announcement Number TWO!

This coming Saturday I will be guest blogging over on Miss Heather's blog;

Heather is hosting on her blog this month MAYspiration!
During MAYspiration Heather is spending the entire month motivating and inspiring others to be the change WE wish to see in the world! 

So on Saturday, check me out!  Visit Heather on Brown Eyed Bell(e) and see what I have to say for MAYspiration! 

In the meantime, see who else out there has guest blogged to inspire and motivate! 

Become a follower on both our blogs to stay updated!  It's easy to sign up!
Or, just keep checking in on us to see what we are up to! 

I hope you have a wonderful and glorious day! 



  

Monday, May 14, 2012

Relay For Life!


Image provided by The American Cancer Society

 
One of the reasons I started this blog was to document and share the journey of not only being a Cancer Caregiver, but to also advocate for Cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers. The second part of this journey is figuring out what my calling is for a future career in advocating for the cause!

So here is my starting point!

I'm creating a Relay For Life Team!

I've never organized a team for an event like this, let alone been in charge of raising money, so I'm nervous to say the least! However, I am excited about this event and I'm ready for the experience! 

I'll be posting along the way the steps I take in creating the Team, fundraising, and then the event itself!  If you have ever done Relay For Life, or have ever been a part of a Fundraising event like this one please feel free to leave me tips and advice! I'm welcome to hearing it all!

Happy Day!


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mothers Day!



This is me today. I'm putting it all out there. 
I'm just done and I need a break. 

It's Mothers Day today and it's glorious outside!  You couldn't ask for a better day! 
However, I'm not with my Mom today. I'm at home, sick and exhausted. Utterly exhausted. 
I'm pretty sure I have worked myself sick. 
I got home this morning, and cried....and cried...and cried some more.
How can I NOT be with my Mom today? How can I tell her I can't follow through with our plans? 
Forget that I'm sick, forget that I haven't been home in days...I don't want to disappoint her..
so how do I get through the day? 
I of course know the answers to all of these questions. 
Of course Mom, or January, or Nana, or anyone else isn't going to be disappointed in me.
I just can't give myself a break. I'm not good at taking care of myself, and not good at not being so hard on me all the time. 

This is a hard lesson. And it's one I am constantly working on. 
I am so blessed to have the best family and the best of friends to remind me I do need a break, and that it's okay to not be there for everyone all the time. 
I need to be the one telling myself these things. I'll get there someday...I'll get there...
I need to be strong for me too and not feel bad about it. 

Mothers Day last year was spent in the hospital with Mom....Now she is home, and healthy, doing better than ever. Since that day last year, I have fully come to realize that I am deserving of days like today. We all are. We all deserve to take care of ourselves, even if that means sacrificing a bit of time with our loved ones. 
I know my Mom understands. I know she isn't disappointed in me. Maybe it took this Cancer journey for me to realize that I'm not a disappointment to her...but I still need to be reminded of that sometimes...someday I won't need the reminders and I'll give myself a break a little easier!

Whether or not you are a Mom, you in some way have taken care of someone or something and have given someone else inspiration and love. So take the day off and celebrate you! 
You deserve a break!
Happy Mothers Day! 



Thursday, May 10, 2012

Keep Trying


I, like so many other people out there in the world are fighting the want/need for a healthy lifestyle.
I am 30 years old, and I have still not convinced myself that the way my body looks right this moment is good enough.  I'm the classic "say everything negative about my body and never anything good" girl. I just started coming around to the idea that I indeed don't have to be perfect.  Shocking!  I don't have to perfect.  I never will be, and what's perfect anyways?  No one can say right?
So I have to create my own perfect. 

Easier said than done however.
I go back and forth everyday. Somedays I feel great about myself, other days, I couldn't feel worse...
I go through spurts of working out, eating healthy, making good choices, and feeling motivated...
The days I can't stay on track, I feel guilty and sad, and disapointed in myself....
I can never let myself win!  I can never give myself a break from anything! 

My gym shoes just sit there staring at me, waiting for me to put them on and JUST DO IT!
I strive hard to be an active person, I don't know if I will ever consider myself a fully physically active person, but I'm trying!

Since January 1st of this year I decided that it was time to truly begin taking care of myself.
To put Mom's medical needs aside when I could, to let everyone else take care of themselves....and give myself the time I needed for me. 
I still struggle with putting myself first. I'm still struggling with not having met my ultimate goal....
But then I talk to my husband, he tells me things like this:


You have to be happy about the small goals you reach all the time...
With everything...You'll always be striving for something in life and thats good to do but if you think about
it as 1 huge goal to reach you will always be disappointed and never feel like you've done anything along the way...
I think you've reached huged goals and are 100x more advanced than the person you used to be...
You may not be at your weight goal but are a fit person now and eat pretty healthy.
You know how to speak up for yourself and aren't afraid to do it.
You are always trying new things and learning new avenues to do things

Those are just some of them! And those are pretty big changes if you think back to a few years ago!
 Well how can I not be motivated after hearing that! My dear husband you are amazing, and I thank you. For all of you struggling out there, read these words and hold them close to your heart. We have to make small goals, and then celebrate them when we achieve them. We have to remember we will always be working towards something, and to be proud of ourselves for at least trying. Be proud of trying new things, even if they don't work out.
What are your stuggles? How are you overcoming them? What are your fitness goals? What do you need/use to stay motivated?

Each day we get to wake up having the freedom to make our own choices. Some days are harder than others to make the best of choices, but at the end of the day, we indeed don't have to put ourselves down for not reaching our goals.
There's always tomorrow, there's always another day, there will always be another goal.
So be proud of yourself, pat yourself on the back and give yourself a break! 
Your human, and we aren't perfect, but at least we are trying!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Diagnosis Day

May 4, 2011
Today is the 1 year anniversary of Mom’s diagnosis.  I actually can’t believe we’ve made it a year. I am beginning to forget some of the details of the past year and actually starting to live a “normal” life again.









Looking back, I realize I not only have to remember the hard times, but also celebrate the good that came with it. So here goes! 


1. It brought my Mom and I so much closer
2. My relationship with Aunt January became stronger
3. I found a strength in myself that I never new existed
4. I found the faith to believe in hope when all was lost
5. I found the confidence to let my voice be heard
6. I grew up a little more
7. I felt the good in people’s hearts, the love in their prayers, and the strength in their hopes
8. I recognized just how important it is to take care of myself – 
physically, mentally, & emotionally
9. My Mom’s illness just may have guided me to finding what my purpose in this world is
10. I've learned to embrace each moment of this life I was given, and cherish and
 appreciate even more each and every person that is a part of my life
11. I have truly witnessed the power of prayer
12. I've realized that I have to slow down a bit and let the little things go
13. My passion for life has changed, and I choose to embrace it now having 
faith that I can indeed overcome the worst and celebrate the glory in each moment


 


    

Today is my starting line. Today is the day we get to say, we are survivors.  A year ago today, I couldn’t say that I was truly living. Today I can. Today I can say that I am stronger person, with a deeper soul and that I am ready to take on whatever comes my way. I have the faith that I will find the answers, and be able to help others find theirs.
I’m going to enjoy the sunshine today, and the smiles that come my way. I’m going to hug my Mom and tell her how blessed I am to have her in my life.
My wish for you today is that you can take pleasure in the small things, to embrace each moment and recognize the love that surrounds you!  I wish for you to have strength and peace in whatever you are fighting for, and to know that you are not alone.  
May 4, 2012

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Absence


Yes, somedays I have to choose to be happy regardless of the situation I'm in!  And if I happen to get a french fry along the way, then good for me!
Click HERE  to buy this poster!

Happy Thursday!
I apologize again for my lack of posts...life has been crazy lately and it's hard keeping up!
I've been struggling lately on where to go moving forward in the blog world...
I have so much to share, but I'm not gonna lie...I don't know if I'm emotionally ready to "go there" you know...
Getting things off my chest always helps, but do I really need to put myself back in the past?
My therapist supports me by saying, "No, you don't!" As much as I do listen to her, there some things I can't ignore.
I've been reflecting a lot lately on where my life is now and there are some things I need to for sure go back and deal with.
One of those things is dealing with the absence of one of my parents.

(Okay, so I guess I'm just going to jump right in!)

My father, is not a part of my life right now. Hasn't been for over a year. This is by far not the first time we have gone months, even full years without speaking.
I don't know why, I can't explain it. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know why I'm "loved less" this year than the year before.  Maybe I'm not, but it sure feels like it. 

I've lived most of my life managing a relationship with my father and not truly having a 2 sided, fair relationship with him.
If I do this, will he be mad? If I don't do this will I be punished? What if I don't call enough? Or fill him in enough? Or include him enough? 

This past year was the hardest year of my life, yet I have been punished for something that I can't even explain.
My whole life I have been trying to figure it all out.  My whole life I have felt guilty, and sad, and angry, and confused, and hurt..and now, when life has literally proven to be not in my control, I have to face the fact that my father for whatever reason, doesn't seem to think I'm good enough to take part in his life.
I don't know what else to do. I don't know what else I can say.
Should I be sorry? Should I take back all of the times I forgave him for the words he said to me, for the pain he caused me?  Should I feel guilty for taking care of my Mom and having to leave our relationship in his hands? Should I be sorry that all I asked for in the last 12 months was for him to step up and maybe take care of me?
Why at the end of the day, have I been punished for being by my Mom's side during what could have been the last year of her life?

I don't know if I will ever get these answers...
I also don't know if we will ever have a "normal" relationship..
I do know that I owe it to myself to stand up for me, and do what's right by me.
It doesn't make me less sad, or miss him any less, but it gives me peace of mind knowing that I have not only done all I could but that it is out of my hands.
I know I am a good person, and a good daughter and maybe in the future we will be able to laugh together again and share stories, and make memories..
Until then, I have to choose to live my life to it's fullest,
and never, ever aplogize for it.

Monday, April 23, 2012

SWAB DAY!!!!!!!


IT'S MY BE THE MATCH SWAB DAY!!!

Today was the day!!!  My donation packet arrived and I was ready to swab!  
It was easy breezy and would have taken about 5 minutes if I wasn't taking pictures!
My wish is to inspire at least one person to follow me in joining the registry and maybe, just maybe one day save someone's life!  



To start...the envelope! 
4 little things.
4 items in the envelope!
They included.....
1. A letter welcoming me to Be The Match and a thank you for joining.
2. A booklet filled with Be The Match information.
3. The Swab Kit.
4. A paid postage return envelope for the samples!
And Thats IT!!!


You are sent 4 large pre-packaged Q-Tip swabs, 4 sticker bar codes, and a container to hold your samples.


So one at a time, you take a swab, swallow and rub it on the inside of your cheek for 10 seconds! 
So 40 seconds of mouth swabbing and I was done!
You put a bar code sticker on each swab, and into the holder they go! 
Done!


So that's it! 
In the envelope my samples went and off to the mail box!


It should take about 2 months for my swabs to be processed and then I will officially receive my donation card!  
In case you were wondering, our sweet little pup Ruca has to be involved in everything we do so she showed her support by keeping me company and watching the whole process! Don't worry she didn't come close to my samples!  She loves Mom too so I thought it was fitting for her to be right next to me!  

So there it is! I am so excited and so proud to be given the opportunity to possibly have a chance to give someone else a chance at living! 
Joining the registry is easy and free!  If it wasn't for people on the registry, my Mom's chances of finding a stem cell donor would have been almost 0.  
I encourage you to join the registry, or find a fundraiser to participate in, or just start spreading the word that transplant patients need to be given more and more chances at survival.

Mom, this was for you and for all of the patients out there waiting for a donor.
It's one small thing of many I can do, but it's a start. 
I pray that I will be asked to donate sometime in my life.
Everyone deserves a miracle or second chance at life and I hope that one day I can be a part of giving that!

For more information on joining the registry click HERE!!!!!


























Saturday, April 21, 2012

Dear Kiersten.



I wanted to dedicate today's post to a girl named Kiersten that lost her battle to Leukemia 2 days ago.  She was a seventh grade young girl with a bright spirit and immeasurable strength. 
I didn't know Kiersten or her family, but she was a part of my school community and will be missed by many students and staff. 
The loss of Kiersten hit very close to home.
It forced me to go back and question basically everything...
Why was my Mom given a miracle?
Why was this Mom's destiny? Kiersten's?

Where do I find the peace in today? 
Where do I find peace for Kiersten's family?
Has my faith diminished? Has Kiersten's families?
I pray for them to find peace in their loss.
I pray for them to find the faith that their daughter is resting peacefully and now watching over them from the clouds above.
I am thankful for Mom's miracle..I'm thankful that she was given a second chance at life.
I am thankful for my hopes becoming reality.
I am thankful for this life I get to live every day, and for each and every experience I have lived through. 

Kiersten, though we did not know one another, know that you have a special place in my heart. 
Your fight will forever be a part of me, and I will continue to honor your memory each and every day.
I know you are no longer walking on this earth, but I know you can feel the sunshine today and see the love that surrounded you until the end. 
May your spirit live on through each and every one of us.
Rest in peace little one, rest in peace. 


Saturday, April 14, 2012

Beauty of the day...







Roses How To Here!


Happy Weekend!
I hope this weekend you have the chance to do something good for you!
For me, its art...crafts...creating...whatever you want to call it.
Creating beautiful things reminds me to do good things for myself. 
 It brings me peace, and control, and a sense of quiet in my crazy world. 
I hope you can de-stress today...find time to take care of yourself and take a deep breath.
I hope you can find beauty in your day in whatever form it comes in!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Bring it on baby!!



I saw this picture on Pinterest the other day and I thought "wow, how true is that!"  
For all of us that were affected by Mom's illness...for all of you out there surviving through your own journey, this is true! 

This journey of Cancer, has been traumatic to say the least, but it has also been quite an eye opening experience. I think it has reminded us that life is precious and short...and that you need to cherish your loved ones and the time that you have with them.  
There were times when Mom was in the ICU and all I would do was pray for just one more day with her, one more moment...for one more memory, or conversation, or smile...I remember thinking back to our "rocky" past during my teen years and regretting how much I didn't appreciate having her in my life, or appreciate the things she always did for me.  
As I've gotten older, I've worked through with myself and her those years that are now behind us..but when her survival...or chance of survival was our reality,  I couldn't help but go back to those emotions.  Now at the "outcome" after this journey of Cancer, I cherish even more than ever every single minute I get to spend with her...every single conversation we have...each and every "back to life normal" event she accomplishes and I get to witness..I cherish it all.
This journey has made me realize that I needed to slow down, that life needed to slow down a bit so that I could appreciate what was in front of me everyday.  
The transition back to "normal" life...or the outcome now has been hard for us all I think. 
We..I, are learning a new way of life..a new way to live really and it is scary.  I don't think any of us can really go back to what life was like before.  We've learned to truly not take life for granted, and we are getting a chance to start over. 
I still don't know what the outcome for us all is going to be. 
Maybe there never will be an outcome..maybe we are always just living through a journey.
Which ever way it is, I welcome it all with open arms.  I welcome the chance to live each and every day and be thankful for my life and will continue to embrace this second chance at life we have all received. 

Moving forward I know there will always be bumps in the road, challenges I may have to fight like hell to overcome..heartache and tears...lessons learned..missed opportunities..memories made, good and bad...chances to take...fears to face...
I guess those are all things we do every day right??? Well this time around I'll be more prepared and  ready to look each and every one of those things in the face and say bring it on!!!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Be The Match

To learn more about joining the Be The Match registry, click here!


Since Mom's diagnosis I have been waiting to find the time to sign up to be a donor on Be The Match!  She was a patient that needed a bone marrow transplant, and our first step was finding a potential donor! 

 
Signing up to be a donor is a 2 step process if you go through the Be The Match website.
Step one is filling out the pretty short personal health history, setting up a contribution if you are wanting to do so, and providing your own information to recieve the donation kit! 


Here are some commonly asked questions about becoming a donor.  You can of course find more information by going to their website here.

(all information is provided by Be The Match)

Q: Why is there a need for people to join the Be The Match Registry?
A: Thousands of patients with blood cancers like leukemia and lymphoma, sickle cell and other life-threatening diseases depend on the Be The Match Registry® to find a match to save their life.

Q: Why are younger donors preferred? A: If you are between the ages of 18 and 44, patients especially need you. When more than one potential donor is a good HLA match for a patient, doctors will also consider other factors, including the donor’s age. Research shows that cells from younger donors lead to more successful transplants. That's because younger donors produce more and higher-quality cells than older donors.
However, if you are between the ages of 18 and 60, meet health guidelines and are willing to donate to any patient in need, you are still welcome to join the registry.

Q: What is a bone marrow transplant?
A: Bone marrow transplant is a life-saving treatment for people with blood cancers like leukemia and lymphoma, sickle cell and other life-threatening diseases. First, patients undergo chemotherapy and sometimes radiation to destroy their diseased marrow. Then a donor's healthy blood-forming cells are given directly into the patient's bloodstream, where they can begin to function and multiply.
For a patient's body to accept these healthy cells, the patient needs a donor who is a close match. Seventy percent of patients do not have a donor in their family and depend on the Be The Match Registry to find an unrelated bone marrow donor or umbilical cord blood.

Q: How do I become a bone marrow donor?
A: The first step to become a bone marrow donor is to join the Be The Match Registry. Doctors around the world search our registry to find a match for their patients. If a doctor selects you as a match for a patient, you may be asked to donate bone marrow or cells from circulating blood (called PBSC donation).

Q: What is my commitment if I join?
A: When you join the Be The Match Registry, you make a commitment to:
Be listed on the registry until your 61st birthday, unless you ask to be removed.
Consider donating to any searching patient who matches you.
Keep us updated if your address changes, you have significant health changes or you change your mind about being a donor.
Respond quickly if you are contacted as a potential match for a patient
You have the right to change your mind about being a donor at any time. Donating is always voluntary.

Q: If I join the Be The Match Registry, how likely is it that I will donate to someone?
A: On average, one in every 540 members of Be The Match Registry in the United States will go on to donate bone marrow or peripheral blood stem cells to a patient. We cannot predict the likelihood that an individual member will donate because there is so much diversity in the population. However, if you are between the ages of 18 and 44, you are 10 times more likely to be called as a marrow donor than other members of the Be The Match Registry. That's because research shows cells from younger donors lead to more successful transplants.
Every person who joins the registry gives patients hope, and new patient searches begin every day. You may never be identified as a match for someone, or you might be one of a number of potential matches. But you may also be the only one on the registry who can save a particular patient's life.

Some Common Facts and Myths about Bone Marrow Donation:

MYTH: Donating is painful and involves a long recovery.

FACT: There can be uncomfortable but short-lived side effects of donating PBSC. Due to taking a drug called filgrastim for five days leading up to donation, PBSC donors may have headaches, joint or muscle aches, or fatigue. PBSC donors are typically back to their normal routine in one to two days.

MYTH:  Donating is dangerous and weakens the donor.

FACT: Though no medical procedure is without risk, there are rarely any long-term side effects. Be The Match® carefully prescreens all donors to ensure they are healthy and the procedure is safe for them. We also provide support and information every step of the way. 
Because only five percent or less of a donor's marrow is needed to save the patient's life, the donor's immune system stays strong and the cells replace themselves within four to six weeks.
 
MYTH: Donors have to pay to donate.
 
FACT: Donors never pay to donate. We reimburse travel costs and may reimburse other costs on a case-by-case basis.
 
 
My Mom needed a bone marrow transplant, and because of people that have signed up to be part of the registry, she had the opportunity of at least 40 donors that were a potentional match.  That's not very many, but she at least had the option!  Many patients are continuing to wait for a potential match!  You could save someone's life by joining the registry!  It's easy and free (they do ask for a contribution, but in case that is not possible for you to do, you can still sign up!), and it's as easy as swabbing your mouth with a Q-Tip! 
 
I will be updating when I get my swab kit to show you just how easy it is! 
What a blessing it would be to be called on to donate my stem cells and save someone's life!  I was a witness to how important it is to have a registry of donors waiting to be a match.  Just knowing that someone out there was able to save my Mom's life makes me want to give back and be able to do the same for someone else! 
 
Join today and lets fight the fight together! 

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Day!

I realized last week after my last post, that I was a bit lost.  I was so lost in my own thoughts and emotions about the past that I wasn't focusing on the here and now.  
I had a session with my therapist (yes therapist...I'm just putting it out there...), and we talked a lot about why I was in fact focusing on the past.  I told her how I started a blog, and that recently I felt stuck writing and was avoiding it in some ways.  
Why?  Why was I avoiding it?  
 I hate when she asks me the tough questions.  
Why am I forcing myself to go back to a place that was painful and scary? 
Who was I doing it for? Me? You? Mom? January? Friends? Family? The Husband?
I didn't know.  I don't know. 
I think I felt like I had to in that moment go back to the days of struggling to be able to move forward.  I'm pretty sure she thought I was crazy! 
I'm stuck moving forward because I don't think I'm ready to share the events of Mom's transplant and what happened afterwards.  I'm not wanting to hide the fact that she was given a second chance at life, but I'm just not ready to go back.
Right now, I'm needing to focus on today.  On what's happening right now. 
We are all getting back to life.  We are all finally finding our way back to normal, and I need to take advantage of that and not worry so much about going back.  The time for that will come and there is no need to force it right?  










So here I am today.  Easter Sunday.  
I woke up feeling great and ready for the day!  
I got up and took some pictures of my favorite things today
They are snapshots of the things that make me want to live in the here and now! 

So, let me explain....!!!!

Arts Garden.
Every time I step outside my back door, I have the pleasure of looking at one of the most beautiful gardens on the block!  I love the stages it goes through as the seasons change and as each day goes by...

Ruca.
The second love of my life. She brightens my day..brings me laughter and joy....she knows all my secrets and faults and loves me anyways...she is therapy...she is hope...and she is a reminder that there is more to life than the worry that faces me each and every day.....

The Orange Bracelet.
It's my reminder to be strong...to fight the fight...to advocate...to share the story...
It keeps me close to Mom...to the memories of how close we were to losing her....
It keeps me awake and holds me close to the life I was blessed to live....

The Little House That Could.
We found this sweet little house in our yard when we moved in. 
I can't seem to part with it! 
It reminds me of how proud I am of the work Dan and I have done to give ourselves a home we love.  It lets me wonder about a past that was unknown to me..but makes me want to built memories of our own.....

Marbles.
I love creating little things for the people in my world! 
I've been making marble magnets and I am in love with them!  
They simply make me happy! 

Dan. 
The first love of my life. 
He keeps me safe, and grounded and brings me back down to earth when I begin to fade....he is my strength, my best friend, my laughter, my hope....he makes me want to make it all okay, and is the reason I keep holding on.  
I will be forever in love with him and forever grateful that he loves me unconditionally! 


So today my wish for you and me is that we can live in the moment...and enjoy the sunshine and be thankful for each and every memory we make today! 
Happy Easter! Happy Day! Happy Sunshine! 



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